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Suburban Lockdown Blues

By Ericsamson
I got those old suburban lockdown blues
I got those old suburban lockdown blues
I woke up this morning to hear the dreary lockdown news.

I got my lockdown bottles lined up
I got my lockdown bottles lined up
To chase away those old suburban, those old suburban lockdown blues.

Now those empty lockdown bottles
Now those empty lockdown bottles
They turn their glassy eyes and stare, they stare right back at me.

Now I might not have the best brain
Now I might not have the best brain
But I had wit enough to tip that lying liquid down the drain.

So Iíll spend time in the garden
Then Iíll spend time in the shed
Then Iíll have a look to see what I can find on EPZ.

Turned out nice again! 😎 🥳 🎼 🎹 🎸

© Cyril ĎJelly Belly Formbyí Joystick
In association with ĎFondant Fancy Productions.í

One of those 'rush of Medicated Ovaltine to the head' moments for which I unreservedly apologise. 🥴Terrible liberties taken with the accepted conventions of blues writing but here at the Sherwood Forest Rest Home for Retired Unicorns and Recuperating Pit Ponies' we laugh in the face of ... well just about everything. 🥳 This egregious piffle seems to work with the tune / ear worm that has now latched on to the brain cell with all the grim determination of a soap opera character hoping for a happy and uneventful wedding.

Many thanks for the very kind responses to 'Dappled' which are, as always, very much appreciated and encouraging. 👍 🙂

With very best wishes to all for good health and whatever happiness can be bagged under the circumstances. G. 🙂

Tags: Bottles Silly Sunday Humour and fun Suburban Lockdown Blues Therapy not working Somewhere in England

Voters: Xandru, rontear, woolybill1 and 29 more

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woolybill1 Plus
13 34 76 United Kingdom
19 Apr 2020 6:22PM
Dear Mrs T of N. W.,
I am most grateful to be the recipient of glad tidings concerning Samantha. Thank goodness the dear child has not been furloughed (dread word!) and has on the contrary been encouraged to Carry On Humphing.
I sincerely hope you are not overly depressed; despite the reflective nature of your song I have been unable to detect a single blue note therein.
With respect, and maintaining a respectful distance,
I remain
Sir Nigel M of ST C's

Dear Graham,
I do hope that was not a single night's work WinkWinkWink
Well done, sir!
Best wishes

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saltireblue Plus
10 10.9k 63 Norway
19 Apr 2020 8:01PM
I have no doubts at all when I say that all of those bottles have been used purely either for culinary or medicinal purposes, in which case, that is a very reasonable number of bottles, considering the amount used in various sauces, marinades and trifles.
The bottle bank thanks you for your invaluable contributions.
19 Apr 2020 8:09PM
The tops are still on - we, on most of them! Are you sure they're empty, Graham??
A wonderful boozy bloozy composition!! .... or, is that bloozy boozy??SmileSmile

19 Apr 2020 8:36PM
Richard, I am given to understand by the 'Custodians of the Bottles' that they were indeed empty but like you I had my doubts. Unfortunately I was not able to verify their status one way or the other! Having said that, their cats appeared to be utterly spannered! 🥳 🤢
mrswoolybill Plus
13 2.2k 2247 United Kingdom
19 Apr 2020 9:29PM
You have the high ground, you have the advantage. Sound the bugle! Show no mercy!
Tooma Plus
4 2.1k 3 Scotland
19 Apr 2020 9:43PM
Why does this page have double the usual offerings of bras for sale? Am I seeing double? Is it the booze and the blues influencing my mind? Must be, 'cos I have never felt more like singing the blues, and I never felt more like crying all night. The freedom is gone, that I thought was mine, so, there's nothing left for me to do, but cry-i-i all over now. There's tears on my pillow - I could go on, but spare you I shall. STELLLAA - where are you?
dudler Plus
17 1.2k 1679 England
19 Apr 2020 10:07PM
I am feeling unwell. What do you recommend me to do, doctor?

capto Plus
8 6.3k 20 United Kingdom
19 Apr 2020 10:24PM
Chinga Plus
9 3 2 United Kingdom
19 Apr 2020 11:14PM
Love the poem and the image's content is perfect for lock-down !!
Bravo !! Isabel GrinGrinGrin
mac Plus
18 7 Scotland
19 Apr 2020 11:37PM
That wife, that wife of mine, I cannot bear it!
Come here, please fill my cup with some claret!
Oh, brother, if youíve got an ear, please spare it,
That wife, that wife of mine, I cannot bear it!

That old wife of mine has made me so grey;
Come let us pour a fresh glass of Beaujolais;
That old wife of mine has made me so grey,
But with you, my friend, Iíd much rather be gay.

Oh come on, let that red wine rule over us;
Weíll pour our glasses and drink in chorus;
Dear me, I do seem to have grown so porous;
Lets us pour our glasses and drink in chorus.

Well, you see, this wine, it is so very fine;
Iím beginning to think I could speak in rhyme;
I was so sad, but now I so shine;
Iím beginning to think I could speak in rhyme.

Oh, how my burgundy blood does now so flow;
You know, I think Iíd like some Merlot;
You know, I think Iím finally losing all my woe;
Just, one more glass, thatís the way to go.

Well having read through all the comments noted the bottles their is very little more to be said sung or slurped.

However !!!!!

Sobriety in all things😀😀😀😀😊😊

Mollycat Plus
7 21 2 United Kingdom
20 Apr 2020 12:08AM
Daren't show my empties, think I might get nicked.
bluesandtwos 10 428 1 England
20 Apr 2020 9:15AM
Listen carefully, I shall say this just once....just one word....'Thank You'...dammit that's two, but hey the Sun is shining, who cares!
You bring many a cheer and smile to us lurking here on planet EPZ, and I am sure as my name is Alexander Blowmedorisi'mdesperateforagoodtime Honktonk the 3rd that I am not alone in being exceedingly grateful for that.

My apologies in abundance for my lack of participation lately, circumstance restricts my computer playtime, but the Judge said that with good behaviour I should be allowed a pencil soon.

Stay safe, young Gussy, best regards to Matron and Newts and I see from my delivered in a plain brown wrapper copy of 'Gay Unicorn News Illustrated' that the Unicorns are all in fine fettle...fettle...rhymes with kettle....need tea....


Ps ask Matron to send another batch of the little blue tablets, I mistook the last lot for slug pellets, chucked them in the garden and am now surrounded by happy looking daffs the size of Sunflowers on steroids! (what is she putting in those tablets!!!)
20 Apr 2020 9:30AM
An excellent upload all round, Graham. A blast of sanity through madness.

20 Apr 2020 9:48AM
Dear Bertie

Sorry to hear that you have received a copy of 'Gay Unicorn News Illustrated'. No wonder your computer time is restricted old thing, you've been scammed. It should, of course, be 'Great Unicorn News Illustrated'! It's the weasels in the Wild Wood up to their old tricks again. I suspect that they are also responsible for sending you the little blue tablets.

Must dash as I too have a kettle on the boil. Well it's one way to get the thing to burst! 🥴

Back soonest, Gussie and the Newts.
20 Apr 2020 10:51AM
TrevBatWCC Plus
12 13 16 England
20 Apr 2020 12:06PM
If we're going to have a lockdown, confined to home, might as well be with a few bottles of good wine! 🍷 I've resorted to buying beer online and have it delivered, not something I'd considered before, but one has to do one's duty and stay indoors... 🍺 At least some good has come out of this crisis... 😋👍
Trev 😀
mistere Plus
7 6 3 England
20 Apr 2020 1:48PM

Quote:An excellent upload all round, Graham. A blast of sanity through madness.

I'm very tempted to agree with our learned friend here. With the possible addition of two letters.
An i and an n, Smile All far too witty for my brain cell to cope with.
Have to dash old bean, my printer's just started playing 'smoke on the water' I think the paper's jamming. Blush

20 Apr 2020 2:43PM
Dear Dave

The last time my printer played smoke on the water it was because I'd chucked it in the pond after getting ripely spannered on a half pint of Mackeson's Milk Stout followed by distilled Ovaltine and oven chip vodka chasers. Far out man - as I believe you young people say. 🥳 🤢 I think I may have inadvertently killed a Bond villain. Oooops. Anyway must dash as I have to go out for the weekly shop and I simply must reverse the Rolls out of the swimming pool. (That's a car - not a bread based comestible).
Yours Kevin Moon in a very deep purple haze ............... Who?

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