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Comments

I think you have created a slightly better feeling here, but there are a couple of things that don't quite sit right with me.
I like the way the Lady is leaning on the gent.
The light seems to be coming from the wrong direction, I see it catching the faces coming from the left but the bg suggests it is coming in from the right of the frame. I think you need to watch the direction of the light when adding a different bg.
The half of the gents' hand at the bottom isn't really contributing imho, I would have preferred to see all of his hand keeping his Lady safe, or none.
Bg is a good one to use but is very yellow.
I did a mod...
Cloned away the half hand.
Reduced the reds and yellows.
Attempted to change the direction of the light on their faces just with a couple of levels layers.
I suspect this may have a better atmosphere in B&W.
I like the way the Lady is leaning on the gent.
The light seems to be coming from the wrong direction, I see it catching the faces coming from the left but the bg suggests it is coming in from the right of the frame. I think you need to watch the direction of the light when adding a different bg.
The half of the gents' hand at the bottom isn't really contributing imho, I would have preferred to see all of his hand keeping his Lady safe, or none.
Bg is a good one to use but is very yellow.
I did a mod...
Cloned away the half hand.
Reduced the reds and yellows.
Attempted to change the direction of the light on their faces just with a couple of levels layers.
I suspect this may have a better atmosphere in B&W.

My take's a bit different, but I hope it will still have some value for you, Jas.
The background looks monochrome: so I knew that I wanted to convert the whole lot to monochrome. That came last.
I don't mind the light coming from different directions on foreground and background, but I do think that the background should be much darker: so I used a Levels adjustment layer (are you reading this, Janet?) to make it darker, and dim the highlights. Then I converted it with Nik Efex.
It's clearly NOT a secret meeting, as the lovers are looking at the camera: I'd believe the thesis if they were lost in each others' eyes, though.
And as I've commented on previous images, I think the light could be harsher on the couple - not from a large, diffuse and flattering source. I know this wasn't possible at a group session, which is, if I remember, where you took the original shots of the couple.
You could also have removed the bright triangle at the top right.
A final thought is that the couple are wearing dark clothes, and these seem underlit. Even with low key work, it's important (usually) to keep decent detail in both shadows and highlights. Going back to the original file and lightening shadows could make the image much more satisfying.
And overall, the composition works - the couple huddled in a corner, slightly overwhelmed by the dark and mysterious place they are hiding...
The background looks monochrome: so I knew that I wanted to convert the whole lot to monochrome. That came last.
I don't mind the light coming from different directions on foreground and background, but I do think that the background should be much darker: so I used a Levels adjustment layer (are you reading this, Janet?) to make it darker, and dim the highlights. Then I converted it with Nik Efex.
It's clearly NOT a secret meeting, as the lovers are looking at the camera: I'd believe the thesis if they were lost in each others' eyes, though.
And as I've commented on previous images, I think the light could be harsher on the couple - not from a large, diffuse and flattering source. I know this wasn't possible at a group session, which is, if I remember, where you took the original shots of the couple.
You could also have removed the bright triangle at the top right.
A final thought is that the couple are wearing dark clothes, and these seem underlit. Even with low key work, it's important (usually) to keep decent detail in both shadows and highlights. Going back to the original file and lightening shadows could make the image much more satisfying.
And overall, the composition works - the couple huddled in a corner, slightly overwhelmed by the dark and mysterious place they are hiding...