Back Modifications (2)
Views: 78 (41 Unique)  Award Shortlist   

Waikiki Break Water - black and white

By david1810
Long exposure of the break water at Waikiki Beach break water.

Looking for any help on improving my shooting or processing skills. Using Lightroom 4 for processing.

thanks for looking

Dave

Tags: Beach Long exposure Black and white Sea scape Landscape and travel Break water

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This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.

Comments


mrswoolybill Plus
10 990 1514 United Kingdom
15 Jun 2014 12:12PM
I like this a lot, particularly the way the foreground lines create a link between here and there. We know where we are standing, we know that there is a considerable distance to the far shore, but there's a way to get there. That diagonal whatever-it-is actually seems to be advancing on the city; and what I really like is that it has a companion following on behind.

I also like the way that the strong textures lower left balance the height of the buildings upper right.

Super b&w, hard, cold and bright.

Just one suggestion - a small crop from the left side of the frame. Diagonal lead-ins are strongest when they enter the frame from a corner; diagonals starting midway along an edge are weaker, somehow unsatisfactory. And the empty space on the left of the frame gives an imbalance to the composition for my eye.

Modification to follow shortly - but I won't change anything apart from the crop.
Moira

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paulbroad 9 117 1075 United Kingdom
15 Jun 2014 12:20PM
Very strong with a lot of impact. Not much to do. Works in mono, but also, I would think, in colour. As a wall or exhibition print, the mono is great, as an image for libraries, then colour.

Paul
dudler Plus
13 468 909 England
15 Jun 2014 4:02PM
I'm really intrigued that the EXIF data says plus 2/3 stop exposure!

This is pretty much faultless, as Moira and Paul have said. Moira's crop is good: we can be hemmed in by the format of a camera viewfinder sometimes.

This would get votes in the main gallery: a colour version, I suspect, gaining more than this wonderful mono image.
david1810 4 1 Australia
16 Jun 2014 8:31AM
Thank you all for taking the time to comment. This website has helped me heaps in improving my skills. You support is very much appreciated.

Dudler the 2/3 plus exposure is confusing me as well. I took a lot of images whilst away perhaps it was set for an earlier image and I forgot to set it back. I don't recall deliberately setting it for this shot although I often try adjustments based on the histogram and trying to move it to the right.

regards

Dave
salopian Plus
5 2 21 United Kingdom
16 Jun 2014 10:35AM
Really atmospheric night time shot - hard to find anything to criticise. I think Moira's crop works well and the buildings top right seem to be leaning outwards a touch, so I have done a mod straightening them up and incorporating Moira's mod - being very picky though!

Geoff
mrswoolybill Plus
10 990 1514 United Kingdom
16 Jun 2014 11:28AM
Thanks for great feedback Dave.
Moira

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