Back Modifications (1)
Views: 54 (26 Unique)  Award Shortlist   

Eats shoots

By Caisiel
Experimenting with an orbis and two HVL-F58's flashes off camera, set as a challenge to illustrate a book title..

Tags: Portraits and people Flash and lighting

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This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.

Comments


paskinmj 7 11 1 United Kingdom
3 Sep 2012 11:36PM
Great quirky portait. A little over exposed and washed out imho.
Matt

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paulbroad 9 117 1075 United Kingdom
4 Sep 2012 7:13AM
Technically a little over exposed. Dread to think what the book title is - not likely to be reading it I think.

Paul
Focus_Man 6 481 631 United Kingdom
4 Sep 2012 9:30AM

Quote:. Dread to think what the book title is - not likely to be reading it I think. Paul


Book is called "Eats, shoots and leaves" by Lynne Truss. It is about punctuation as you can imagine the difference punctuation can make to this title!

I find the picture over exposed, the mouth over full and some depth of colour required.

Frank
banehawi Plus
12 1.5k 3555 Canada
4 Sep 2012 3:15PM
Uploaded a mod. Agree with Paul and Matt re exposure/washed out, and Frank re colour. I would also add that the eye reflections are odd, - perhaps best to modify.

Reduced highlights, increased mid tone contrast, re worked reflections, increased colour,



regards



Willie
Caisiel 4 17 Wales
4 Sep 2012 4:56PM
Thankyou people for your constructive comments. I'm new to this and it is so refreshing not to have Flickr-esque "hey, cool image" or "nice pic. i've fav'ed can you fav mine too" posted against a submitted picture.

The points are are valid and very helpful (though 'mouth over-full' re. focus_man, to be honest I wanted it more extreme), my print of this is slightly less exposed and more saturated so monitor calibration is required. The modification on my screen, even though slight, personally i feel it does add what is missing, again i very much appreciate your efforts here.

Thanks all again. Looking forward to learning, viewing and being inspired...

Chris
pamelajean Plus
10 969 1846 United Kingdom
4 Sep 2012 7:13PM
Hi, Chris. I have read this book and love it because it hits all of my frustration buttons and makes me feel better....I am not alone!
I appreciate that you are after impact, and therefore accept the stuffed mouth, rather than a delicate chew on a shoot or leaf. I am tending to feel the absence of a hand or a fork doing the stuffing, though. You probably wanted to keep it more simple.
I wonder if you considered a hand with a gun pointing at his temple, to go top right? You'd need a bit more space, though. I think a black gun would have impact against the red background. Too much in one image??
Just my thoughts.
Pamela.
arhab 4 43 2 Indonesia
6 Sep 2012 9:11AM
this is disguising. and why the eye looks like watching me?
Caisiel 4 17 Wales
6 Sep 2012 4:47PM
Thanks arhab, i'm afraid I need a bit more critical support and analysis here, as previous posters above..........I'm not new to photography, but totally lacking in confidence in my work - limiting it to flickr etc, perhaps that's where I should stay.....

I can still tell he is my mate so not disguised that well. If you meant 'disgusting' then i must ask you to offer a bit more politeness...

I wanted to accentuate the eye as a watching organ to emphasise its function and our interpretation of it.WinkWink
arhab 4 43 2 Indonesia
6 Sep 2012 9:16PM
Sorry caisiel, my english is bad and not bring dictionary when i wrote it. what i mean is i fell not comfortable when look at it. and the eye looks like wrong. he eats but the eye looks to the other, this is opinion from beginner.
Caisiel 4 17 Wales
6 Sep 2012 11:25PM
Wink No problems, I was just having a bit of a joke back. I value your input
arhab 4 43 2 Indonesia
7 Sep 2012 4:00AM
this is really good image caisiel. you get what you want. and about the eye, what i'm thinking is there is someone look at him and he doesn't want that man to distrub him so he look at him and telling him to go Smile

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