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Jingle Smells.

By foggytwo
May I take this opportunity to wish everyone a very happy Christmas. I hope you are not offended by my card this year.

Twas the night before Christmas.
And all loaded with toys.
Santa went on his rounds.
To visit all girls and boys.
On his way down to London.
He`d just left Aberdeen.
He had to stop flying south.
By something quite unforseen.
Santa`s tummy was playing him up.
He ordered Rudolph and reindeer to land.
"No children here", Rudolph thought to himself.
But he had to obey Santa`s command.
They spotted a house with a garden.
That sat in the snow crisp and deep.
"No noise to be made here", said Santa.
As the folks were inside fast asleep.
So Santa dismounted and hurried along.
His cheeks with the cold, turning blue.
But there, at the end of the garden.
Stood a convenient old fashioned loo.
Mrs. Claus had been baking that Christmas eve.
She gave Santa some hot chocolate buns.
Now here he was, delivering toys.
And having to stop because of the runs.
Santa opened the door and entered.
Sat down with a sigh of relief.
Just to notice, no toilet paper.
This night was really giving him grief.
But old Rudolph came to the rescue.
As Santa got into a flap.
He pushed a roll under the door.
Of best quality Christmas wrap.
"Thats not what this paper is made for".
Said Santa, tearing off some.
But he had no choice on this cold cold night.
His bum was blue and getting quite numb.
So back on his sleigh, all set for the off.
Santa sat and started to blush.
He was in so much of a hurry.
That the toilet, he`d forgotten to flush.
Turning the sleigh, he flew over the loo.
But the situation was not really tragic.
He cast a spell and some stardust fell.
All sorted by some Christmas magic.
Once sorted out, they were soon on their way.
And a carrot for Rudolph, who`s great.
Santa said, "This Christmas,I`ll never forget".
The first Christmas that Santa was late.

Tags: Christmas Still life Santa Close-up and macro Digitally manipulated Humour and fun

Voters: Mynett, Pegon, CarolG and 21 more


Mynett 11 142 6 United Kingdom
18 Dec 2010 8:44PM
BRAVO..... that has made me chuckle Smile

Happy Christmas Pete

Have fun and lay off the choc buns LOL Wink

Linda x

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Pegon 14 78 1 England
18 Dec 2010 10:16PM
Nice one Smile Smile.
Have a Great Christmas and All the Best for The New Year.
CarolG 13 199 20 Greece
19 Dec 2010 6:09AM
A super poem, and a great card! All the best for a peaceful and relaxing festive season. Carol
DeSilver Plus
12 14 12 England
19 Dec 2010 9:54AM
No offence here I really enjoyed the picture and the poem.

I think that I'll leave the Choc Buns alone and preserve my bum! he...He...He lol Wink Wink

David. Tongue
foggytwo 16 36 1 Scotland
19 Dec 2010 1:05PM
My thanks to all above for your comments.
Lillian Plus
10 23 17 United Kingdom
19 Dec 2010 2:41PM
That sure took some thinking out Pete, and I will be smiling for ages just thinking of it...Happy Christmas to you and yours
foggytwo 16 36 1 Scotland
19 Dec 2010 2:51PM
Thank you for your comment Lillian,it is very welcome.
soulofharmony 9 22 1 Norfolk Island
19 Dec 2010 5:36PM
Hey Pete

Its so wonderful to see you around again, lmao at your xmas card poor Santa.. to many mince pies that will teach him

hope old crunchie and the gang are doing well..

Hope you and your family have a fab xmas.. you take care..

Nicola xxx
foggytwo 16 36 1 Scotland
19 Dec 2010 6:41PM
Thanks for the comment Nicola,good to hear from you again. Crunchie and the gang are all doing fine,thanks. Remeber,not too much booze next week now,LOL. Have agreat time.
bricurtis Plus
14 2.3k 50 England
19 Dec 2010 7:22PM
Love this Pete. Sounds like Santa had a 'bum' deal.Smile
Wishing you and the family a wonderful Christmas.
19 Dec 2010 7:48PM
Something different ! Still laughing ! Merry Christmas to you all too!Gill
foggytwo 16 36 1 Scotland
19 Dec 2010 8:24PM
My thanks to Brian and Gillian for your comments.
19 Dec 2010 8:27PM
superb as allways pete,have a great christmas and a happy new year.ray
foggytwo 16 36 1 Scotland
19 Dec 2010 8:31PM
Right back at you Ray,thanks for the comment.
Daisymaye 11 23 16 Canada
20 Dec 2010 12:03AM
Merry Christmas to you Pete. This is hilarious............Sandy
brownsilent 12 7 2 United Kingdom
20 Dec 2010 7:01AM
Offended? Why? I love it, together with the poem it makes the best Santa card I've ever seen!
Have a Merry Christmas yourself Pete, and all your family.
PatriciaWilson 15 615 58 Greece
20 Dec 2010 7:11AM
lovely poem, made me laugh, thanks!
hope you're well,
P, X
Paree 14 616 3
20 Dec 2010 11:46AM
happy Christmas

AnneWorner 12 620 43 United States
20 Dec 2010 1:42PM
No offense at all - always have time for a smile Smile
A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you also.

foggytwo 16 36 1 Scotland
20 Dec 2010 2:24PM
My thanks to Sandy, Johanna, Pat, Maureen and Anne for your comments,they are all appreciated.
20 Dec 2010 7:39PM
Magic work Pete, Merry Xmas to you and your family
foggytwo 16 36 1 Scotland
20 Dec 2010 7:43PM
Thanks for the comment Graham,appreciated.
DP_Imagery 15 24 6 Wales
20 Dec 2010 10:38PM
Twas the night after Xmas and outside the house
An old man was standing as quiet as a mouse
For his outdoor convenience was remarkably transformed
twas covered in chocolate, with bright wrapping adorned.


Great stuff Pete - have a brilliant time m8 . . . and keep us all laughing in 2011.

photophantom 11 108 3 Philippines
21 Dec 2010 12:07PM
super words and image as always Pete. Merry Christmas!
21 Dec 2010 3:22PM
hi pete this is so funny i love this one funny stuf
happy christmas .talia.
foggytwo 16 36 1 Scotland
21 Dec 2010 8:17PM
My thanks to Bruce, Dennis and wee Talia for your comments,they are appreciated.Thanks Bruce for the verse .......
Yes Bruce, you are correct.
Twas sure Boxing day morn.
When the old man from the cottage.
Saw his old loo transform.
Something magical has happened he thought.
When he noticed the lovely display.
He`d left it last night not looking too good.
And now it looks like a box of Milk Tray.

DP_Imagery 15 24 6 Wales
21 Dec 2010 10:05PM

Glostopcat 13 255 2 England
22 Dec 2010 10:28PM
You've made me laugh tonight Pete, you've come up trumps again. It looks like Santa has caught a stinking cold! lol I think you deserve a WC award for this one as you are on rearly good form and this poem is better than the bog standard ones you read on here. This fun image is fart too good not to gain recognition, I'll leave the puns at that as I'm starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you, look forward to more laughs from you in 2011, Ed
Glostopcat 13 255 2 England
23 Dec 2010 9:47AM
You've brought a whole new meaning to "yule log" now Pete, whenever I see one in the future I shall break out into a broad smile and always be reminded of your poem, you are indeed a man of infinite jest!
foggytwo 16 36 1 Scotland
23 Dec 2010 6:35PM
Thank you for your super comment Ed, it is very much appreciated.
I can only assume that the W.C. award stands for White Christmas Award, LOL. Thanks again,I enjoyed reading your puns.
Glostopcat 13 255 2 England
23 Dec 2010 7:57PM
Of course Pete, what did you think it meant? ha ha
MickS 14 23 14 England
24 Dec 2010 9:07PM
Merry Christmas, Pete, and a Happy and Prosperous New Year.
foggytwo 16 36 1 Scotland
27 Dec 2010 3:28PM
Cheers Mick,thank you for your comment.
28 Dec 2010 2:22PM
brilliant pete,best wishes for the new year.ray
foggytwo 16 36 1 Scotland
28 Dec 2010 6:56PM
Many thanks Ray, your comment is most appreciated. All the best for the coming year to you too.

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