Back Modifications (2)
Views: 61 (39 Unique)  Award Shortlist   

Violin and Rattle

By Pietman
Still life

Tags: General

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This photo is here for critique. Please only comment constructively and with suggestions on how to improve it.


DOGSBODY 9 1.4k 30 England
2 Oct 2008 12:34PM
A great still life. Good diagonal composition with plenty of colour and detail. Andy

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graceland 13 2.5k 2 United Kingdom
2 Oct 2008 1:40PM
Yep Very nice ,I would put a slim frame on it but great !
conrad 13 10.9k 116
2 Oct 2008 2:25PM
I really like the idea, and it's a well lit and very "clean" image.

But I wonder if your composition couldn't be improved a little. The rattle, for instance, doesn't help the composition for me. It just seems a little too much, and I don't think you need it, so I'd be inclined to remove it. (Unless, of course, you insist on keeping the title as it is, then it might be a bit of a problem, removing it...)

Secondly, I'd like to see some kind of cohesion between the different elements. You could achieve this by overlapping them, for instance - laying the paper partially under the bow, to name an example, letting the bow (almost) touch the violin, etc. Just to give you some ideas.

But this is a very nice effort as it is!
Pietman 9 2 South Africa
2 Oct 2008 3:27PM
Thanks for the positive critique. Looking at the composition from your viewpiont it would make a difference. I will keep that in mind.
55jase 12 188 2 United Kingdom
2 Oct 2008 4:18PM
I agree with conrad, To make the picture stronger i feel you need some negative space, You have too much spread out making a busy picture.When i want to look at the focal point the violin.
pamelajean Plus
12 1.1k 2008 United Kingdom
2 Oct 2008 7:31PM
Hi, Pieter. The above comments echo my own thoughts about this one, so I did a mod to give you an idea for future composition. Overlapping items instead of placing them side by side makes a more interesting image altogether. I could have played with this for hours, turning things around and placing them differently, but resisted the urge. Hope you like my little creation.
Pietman 9 2 South Africa
3 Oct 2008 8:37AM
Hi, Pamela. Thanks for your comments. I see that you are a very greative person and your portfolio speaks of it.
pamelajean Plus
12 1.1k 2008 United Kingdom
3 Oct 2008 8:02PM
It was fun, Pieter, glad you liked it, and thanks for the compliments.

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